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The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

Right, let’s get something straight before we go any further.

They were NOT my knickers on the radiator, and I did not really wet myself!

It’s just an expression I picked up off Cass. Okay?!

As for the person who emailed me asking if I would send them to him…

You are soooooo GROSS!!!!!

What, did you escape from Sugar & Spice or something?

And anyway, they were Mum’s. And if she finds out I put a pic of her undies on the net she’ll kill me, so just keep it quiet.

Pretty please?

So, anything new with you guys?

Same old story here.

Mum’s too busy with her work to notice us.

My brother’s a pain in the butt. As usual.

Tues’ is cute as ever most of the time, but can be really annoying when I’m trying to do my homework.

And Cass is… Well, it’s hard to explain.

The thing is, Cass can never replace Dad.

And no matter how much I tell myself Mum is happier now, every time I see Cass with Mum I am reminded that Dad isn’t here for us.

Does that make sense?

Sure, we ge to see him some weekends when he’s not working (trouble is, he’s always working) and I know he loves us just the same as before, but…

And he hates Cass. I mean, really hates her. He blames her for everything!

Which is unfair, because it wasn’t like that!  But if I dare say anything Dad says I’m taking sides…

Adults. You can’t win.

Which reminds me, I asked MW why he agreed to tell my side of the story, and he said it’s because kids are honest.

And ya know what? He’s right.

Yeah, of course I tell the occasional porky to get myself out of trouble, or more likely to get my brother into trouble. But what Mark meant was that children see through the veils that adults hide behind.

So watch out for the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth as Mum says at work.

Well, someone says it where she works, anyway.

Oh yeah, she’s a lawyer.

A defence barrister, in fact.

And she specialises in getting people off the hook. 

Whether they’re innocent or not, I once overheard her say.

And what with Cass being a copper ‘n’ all…

Yeah, talk about The Odd Couple!

One’s trying to put the villains in jail while the other’s trying to set them free…

And then they sleep in the same bed!

It’s like Mark says, you just couldn’t make it up!


Dishing the dirt

It was back before Christmas that I first overheard Cass telling Mum she was writing a book about her work.

Laugh? My knickers are still on the radiator!

Cass, write? She can barely sign her name!

Well, okay, that’s not strictly true. I guess she has to write lots of reports and things for her job, but a book?

Even Tues’ – that’s my little sister, by the way – even Tues’ knows Cass has the literary skills of Homer Simpson.  You should hear her when she’s reading Tues’ her bed-time story. Doh!

Actually, rumour has it Cass has a ghost-writer to do all the hard work for her, so she’s not really writing it herself. It’s just her story, but someone else is actually doing the writing bit, so it might be just about readable.

D’ya think I could get away with that at school? Not a chance. Adults! Hah! It’s one rule for them and another rule for us!

Not that I need a ghost writer, mind. Top of the class in English, that’s me. But I wouldn’t mind a few tips from this new mate Cass has.

Saffina Desforges is her name.

Come on, is that for real?

But apparently she knows what she’s doing, and even has a best-seller in the Amazon Kindle charts. Sugar & Spice. Ever heard of it?

Mum won’t let me read it. Says it’s not for kids. Mind you, she says that about everything. You know what mothers are like…

So I downloaded a copy to my Kindle using Dad’s account.

But it’s all about a child-killer! How gross is that?

Now if Saffina Desforges was to write a dark fantasy novel…

Oh yeah, I’m Ella, by the way, and I’m nearly twelve, so dark fantasy is my preferred reading genre at the moment.

Yeah, get me with all the fancy terms! Told’ja I was tops in English! And yeah, I do look young for my age. Don’t remind me!

I just love books about vampires and angels and that sort of thing, and I‘m a big Amanda Hocking fan. But hey, who isn’t?

But it would be nice to have something like that set in Britain, with proper English spellings. Saffi, are you listening?

Anyway, back to the point: this book Cass is writing. Or not, as the case may be.

Apparently it’s going to be a series of crime thrillers based on her work.

Her work? Yeah, Cass is a cop! Plain clothed, yet! CID!

And what an apt term that is. Plain clothed, I mean. And CID too, I guess. Coppers In disguise. Needless to say me and she don’t see eye to eye on fashion issues. (And yeah, I know that’s not proper English. Who are you? My literacy teacher?)

In fact, Cass and I (happy now?) don’t see eye to eye on much at all. Sometimes I wish Dad were still living with us. But Mum was really having a hard time of it, and now she’s fine, so Cass can’t be all bad.

Except at picking titles, maybe.

Get this: this new series of books she’s planning is to be called Rose Red.


Well, her surname is Rose, ya see. Detective Inspector Cassandra Rose.

And her nickname is…

Oh, you guessed.

Apparently everyone calls her Red and always has done.

Everyone except us, that is.  Mum hates it, and gets in a real strop if we ever let it slip.

Anyway, the first of this new series of Rose Red is due out on Kindle this summer, and the reason I’m telling you about it, apart from coz I’m in it (Yay! I’m a star!) is that I just happen to have access to the draft manuscript!

For real!

Ya see, Cass dictates her version of what she reckons happens at work and sends it to Saffina whatserface to make it intelligible and take out all the exaggerated stuff, like the bit about Cass catching three armed robbers single handed while walking Tues’ to the park one day. Then Saffi sends it back as a fancy chapter for the book, awaiting Cass’s approval.

Needless to say yours truly managed to fix Cass’s email so I get a copy sent to my laptop too. And all my mates at school! LOL!

Unfortunately we also get all the gooey personal emails between Cass and Mum, and they are seriously not for the under-eighteens! Gross!

Oh yeah, didn’t mention that, did I? About Mum and Cass? That they…


My brother Jack (more about him next time) has real issues with it, just like Dad. But I’m cool with it, my mates all think it’s great, and Tues’ is way too young to understand.

Anyway, my plan is to show Cass two can play at her game. Writing their life story, I mean, but using someone else to do the donkey work.

So I’ve teamed up on the sly with Saffi’s writing partner, Mark Williams, to get across my version of events. Yeah, I’d never heard of him either, but he’s cheap!

So stay tuned to this blog for the inside story about the Rose Red crime thriller series as it unfolds. And who knows, one day I might become a best-seller just like Saffi!