Dishing the dirt

It was back before Christmas that I first overheard Cass telling Mum she was writing a book about her work.

Laugh? My knickers are still on the radiator!

Cass, write? She can barely sign her name!

Well, okay, that’s not strictly true. I guess she has to write lots of reports and things for her job, but a book?

Even Tues’ – that’s my little sister, by the way – even Tues’ knows Cass has the literary skills of Homer Simpson.  You should hear her when she’s reading Tues’ her bed-time story. Doh!

Actually, rumour has it Cass has a ghost-writer to do all the hard work for her, so she’s not really writing it herself. It’s just her story, but someone else is actually doing the writing bit, so it might be just about readable.

D’ya think I could get away with that at school? Not a chance. Adults! Hah! It’s one rule for them and another rule for us!

Not that I need a ghost writer, mind. Top of the class in English, that’s me. But I wouldn’t mind a few tips from this new mate Cass has.

Saffina Desforges is her name.

Come on, is that for real?

But apparently she knows what she’s doing, and even has a best-seller in the Amazon Kindle charts. Sugar & Spice. Ever heard of it?

Mum won’t let me read it. Says it’s not for kids. Mind you, she says that about everything. You know what mothers are like…

So I downloaded a copy to my Kindle using Dad’s account.

But it’s all about a child-killer! How gross is that?

Now if Saffina Desforges was to write a dark fantasy novel…

Oh yeah, I’m Ella, by the way, and I’m nearly twelve, so dark fantasy is my preferred reading genre at the moment.

Yeah, get me with all the fancy terms! Told’ja I was tops in English! And yeah, I do look young for my age. Don’t remind me!

I just love books about vampires and angels and that sort of thing, and I‘m a big Amanda Hocking fan. But hey, who isn’t?

But it would be nice to have something like that set in Britain, with proper English spellings. Saffi, are you listening?

Anyway, back to the point: this book Cass is writing. Or not, as the case may be.

Apparently it’s going to be a series of crime thrillers based on her work.

Her work? Yeah, Cass is a cop! Plain clothed, yet! CID!

And what an apt term that is. Plain clothed, I mean. And CID too, I guess. Coppers In disguise. Needless to say me and she don’t see eye to eye on fashion issues. (And yeah, I know that’s not proper English. Who are you? My literacy teacher?)

In fact, Cass and I (happy now?) don’t see eye to eye on much at all. Sometimes I wish Dad were still living with us. But Mum was really having a hard time of it, and now she’s fine, so Cass can’t be all bad.

Except at picking titles, maybe.

Get this: this new series of books she’s planning is to be called Rose Red.

Seriously!

Well, her surname is Rose, ya see. Detective Inspector Cassandra Rose.

And her nickname is…

Oh, you guessed.

Apparently everyone calls her Red and always has done.

Everyone except us, that is.  Mum hates it, and gets in a real strop if we ever let it slip.

Anyway, the first of this new series of Rose Red is due out on Kindle this summer, and the reason I’m telling you about it, apart from coz I’m in it (Yay! I’m a star!) is that I just happen to have access to the draft manuscript!

For real!

Ya see, Cass dictates her version of what she reckons happens at work and sends it to Saffina whatserface to make it intelligible and take out all the exaggerated stuff, like the bit about Cass catching three armed robbers single handed while walking Tues’ to the park one day. Then Saffi sends it back as a fancy chapter for the book, awaiting Cass’s approval.

Needless to say yours truly managed to fix Cass’s email so I get a copy sent to my laptop too. And all my mates at school! LOL!

Unfortunately we also get all the gooey personal emails between Cass and Mum, and they are seriously not for the under-eighteens! Gross!

Oh yeah, didn’t mention that, did I? About Mum and Cass? That they…

Exactly!

My brother Jack (more about him next time) has real issues with it, just like Dad. But I’m cool with it, my mates all think it’s great, and Tues’ is way too young to understand.

Anyway, my plan is to show Cass two can play at her game. Writing their life story, I mean, but using someone else to do the donkey work.

So I’ve teamed up on the sly with Saffi’s writing partner, Mark Williams, to get across my version of events. Yeah, I’d never heard of him either, but he’s cheap!

So stay tuned to this blog for the inside story about the Rose Red crime thriller series as it unfolds. And who knows, one day I might become a best-seller just like Saffi!

Laters,

El’.

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